everyone has a story, huh?

Where did this come from? //

Originally I was content with just remaining an anonymous bystander on the vast internet, doomscrolling twitter and tiktok until one or the other exploded, and then I'd move on to the next social media feed of the week. My introduction requires just a bit of background:
I was a Neopets kid. 20 years have come and gone and I still reminisce about that site circa 2005 with my online friends, harrasing poor souls on the FC boards. I wish I was better at keeping records of my history online, but unfortunately those have been lost to the archives. Either way - fast forward to 2023. My therapist suggested that in order to help reconnect with my inner child, I reintroduce some of my old hobbies into my day to day, as a means to heal some long standing wounds. I decided to log into a neopets account I'd made in highschool off the cuff, and proceeded to hyperfocus the shit out of revamping my pages like I was 10 again. After joining a facebook group, I'd come to learn about Grundo's Cafe (abbr. as GC henceforth) - a Neo-Clone as I found out, that was accessible only by referral code (which are in high demand). There was a regular Friday post for those who were interested in a code, or someone from the website could directly refer you.
It was by chance that I had found a facebook post on the GC page about open applications on June 1st, and successfully got an acceptance letter to the closed beta website that day (the open applications closed roughly 4 hours after I had submitted mine, so luck was on my side). It's here that I'm hit with an even stronger wave of nostalgia and love for small, tight-knit online communties. Let me explain.

// The why

As with many folk who have turned to personal websites ala neocities, neko web, or dreamhost - I'm tired of social media. It's a garbage fire. And I don't even just mean with the impossible algorithms or rampart bot accounts. Fandom has always been a rather dubious place to exist online. While I navigated these waters more carefully in the earlier days, I've found myself liberally using the block function more recently because of whatever bug that has crawled up peoples butts. I don't like using the word toxic for a lot of reasons, but unfortunately Fandom spaces are dripping with ichor. (I'm not going to go into that here - that's not what this page is for. Perhaps one day I'll take the time to list some deeper greivences I have with Fandom as a whole, rather than the bits that exist as vicious guard dogs on social media). Either way: I want to enjoy my favorite things without having to worry if my opinion is on this weeks hit list. I want to be able to write a post, unabashedly, about something that others may find uncouth or weird. Why was it that on social media, like tumblr, I was so turned off by the notion of sharing a thought piece? I’m still shouting into the void. But, it’s my void, I suppose. The likelihood of this tangent showing up in a strangers feed is near 0 (you did make the conscious decision to be here, right?). And even then, on social media, we no longer just scroll past the thing that makes us uncomfortable. No, every other post it’s dogpiling after shaming after guilting.

// ... anyway

While browsing various pet pages on GC, I happened across one that linked a reference to a neocities page ( of all places). I began my descent into the rabbit hole known as the web revival movement. I’d heard about neocities through various channels since my tumblr days, however I never put much stock into having my own website. What purpose would it serve me that social media accounts already did? (looking back, this is a foolish notion, but there were many things I was and still am naive about) Granted, I was always fascinated by the hand crafted pet pages of old neopets. There was a charm about them, that you really only see when a person puts a little bit of themselves into each design that normal social media feeds don’t allow. But, again, I had convinced myself it wasn’t for me. I barely knew basic HTML, but coding and managing an entire website seemed like a big stretch for someone like me.

// well here I am

Imagine that, 30 year old Enfys is learning more HTML and CSS - on my own no less. And for why? Making a website in spite of everything sure is a lot of work with little reward, isn't it? Again, I needed to ask myself: What purpose does this serve me? I’m the type of person to jump head first into a new hyperfixation/project and then a few months later (or weeks even) get bored/frustrated because it’s not quite what I wanted and no longer have the drive or inspiration to continue. I didn’t want that to happen with making a personal website. It's kind of scary... I know very little about coding, and there are many steps needed to get the pages to the quality that I'd be satisfied with. Will I burn out before then? I suppose time will tell as we wait and see what becomes of Zenith Trajectory.

// Ultimately?

I’m finding that this renaissance in personal websites has a lot of folks in similar situations to mine. As I mentioned earlier, social media algorithms are impossible to follow. I no longer post my art on social media outside of my personal facebook page because I'm afraid of AI scalpers coming and ripping my work. The risk of posting the wrong thing or at the wrong time and getting shadowbanned - LOWERING your engagement that's pivotal to having people see your post (whether or not they're a follower). And even then, forget about finding anyone new on the supposed "for you" feeds. I often find myself on the complete opposite side of arguments that social media has determined I want to see. It only feels natural at this point that more people are instead dedicating time to arrange having a personal website, where you're free from the corporate shackles that Musk and Zuck have imposed on the general public.
I crave the autonomy of catering to myself, being hedonistic and self indulgent. Never did I think I’d so fully want to share my silly little interests and thoughts with strangers- to cast away any shame of what isn’t popular or cool?

So here’s to the web revival movement; to the trailblazers before us, and the webmasters that are yet to hone their craft